a eulogy for dolorita
I have so much to say, Dolly…but I know you wanted me to kept it short. Even if I was to speak for a long time…how does one capture a lifetie of living?
Dolly was my friend…we were friends for thirty years. We didn’t see much of each other, but every time we did, we had this special bond that only comrades and warriors share. And she was a classic friend. This means that every time I looked at her, I could see a reflection of myself. She would always give back to me and make me feel good about myself.
I think this is true not only about myself but about all of you here today. All of you who loved and were loved in return by Dolorita.
When we were younger in the 70’s we were all part of an enchanted group that was able to perform magic. We were passionate, we were full of energy, we had talent and we were going o change the world. We created wonderful things out of nothing. And Dolly was one of us.
The Koran says that "He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh." Just from that alone…Mrs. Monares is surely in heaven.
Dolly and her sparring partner, Chart were the funniest…most bastos women I ever knew in my life. They were the Michaelangelo and Da Vinci of lewdness. They were virtuosos of the profane. Nothing was sacred and grabe gid ang ila nga sense of humor.
Dolly had a way of creating laughter by making herself the target of jokes, but what many didn’t realize was that the joke was on us. She had a sense of humor that boomeranged and exploded around us like fireworks. I slowly realized that she would absorb brilliantly funny retorts that were cruel and person-targetted and turn it into a general statement of how foolish and naive we all were. I think this was artistry of a very rare kind. I saw this early on and almost missed the fact that shew was a terrific actress and subtle observer of human nature. Beacause of this, I offered her the tile role of Dolly Levi…the classic Thornton Wilder role…tokaya ni Dolly..the chismosa..the matchmaker…the social operator of the musical HEllo Dolly…the Dolly who knew everybody and knew what was going on and made things happen and made the world better because of it. In the play, there is a line…Money is like manure…it was made to be spread around. She didn’t even have any money. So she spread love and herself around.
When I offered Dolly the role…a perfect role… Dolly playing Dolly role of Literature she freaked out and disappeared for Cebu. How did I know then that I was aking her to expose the ecret of her true nature?
For a long time, myself being young and arrogant, I thought that she wasted a perfect opportunity to be a star on stage. How was I know that she was doing this in real life? When I realized this, I felt better but I always mourned the fact that I never had a chance to work with her in a major role.
And then Mamang happened and it was one of the most creative and happy experiences in my life. There was no need for her to act a woman who was a mother to the whole world. A woman who worked hard to help keep her family together..a woman who loved fiercely and gave of herself. nobody called her Tita Dolly…she was always Mommy Dolly. To everybody.
You cannot be a mommy to somebody just because you’re cute or because you’re funny. You earn the name of mommy because you have made yourself a part of the person…and that person a part of you. And this takes a lot of work and a lot of caring.
And as for your real family..its not hard to see how fiercely and passionate they love you. Si Wilfred, Cyrill, Krueger, Mick Mick and Tope. how aware they are of your kindness and the sacrifices you have made for them. As the Spanish say, "Amor, con amor se paga"…Love can only be repaid with love.
If we cry today, Dolly…it’s not because you died. We are all going to die. We do not cry for you. We cry for ourselves. Because we will have to live in a world without you. But even as you are gone…we feel your love, Dolly. Because love never dies. I, and all of us here today…your big, big family..will always love you.
P.G.
May 7, 2006
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i will take you forever
I was a man who always played around at love
So quick to take but so afraid to give enough
But now I’ve found the one
And heaven will only know
What only my eyes can say
And time can’t take away
I was a girl who trusted no one with my heart
And the dreams that young girls dream
Were just vanishing in the dark
But now I’ve found the one
And heaven will only know
What only my eyes can say
They say
CHORUS:
That I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else in my heart but you
And I will take you forever
And there will never be anyone else but you
Anyone else but you
Now my touch belongs to you
And I will always be your best friend
Now my secrets are safe with you
A
nd the magic will never end
Now you are the one
And heaven will only know
What only our eyes can say
They say