im tired
my job was not that easy (honest). its not the same as the call center representatives that was there all day in front of their PC’s and answering phone calls from different parts of the world. its not the same as those who works in the government that just waits for the time to come in and out of the office ( one classic example is when i processed a motorcade permit the sign from the door says "no lunch break"–that was way good, but when i approach the cashier she told me to be back at 1pm–NO NOON BREAK, huh?).
it was pretty hard, though, exciting and i enjoyed it much. i like this kind of job, especially that is not routinary nor mostly an office work. i got to travel (field works and meetings from diffrent places that is not my expense–ehheheheh). i got to think the most creative way of promoting the product to hasten its offtakes. i got to meet different people in all walks of life–from sidestreet tinderas to country’s most famous celebrities (and managers–where i can be discovered, too).
its not that easy because if you dont have that strategy and all, youll surely not stay in this kind of work that long. ive been here for almost three years…yes…three years. but i felt no excitement anymore. is it because of the new system from the client’s head office? or is it of the many failures in my projects and handling my subordinates? is it because of the salary? or is it in the people i am working with especially for those who can’t take risk in decision makings and for those who pretend to be someone who knew better in this field? i dont know…i really dont know.
i cant afford to fail in all of my projects, especially that i am not the reason why it failed. i cant afford to be scolded because of these teeny bitsy things. i am just tired of the pressures given. well, thanks for the work that entrusted to me.
i think i done so much in this field. i am a nobody in these three years of experience in this work, i am somebody (taas kilay). i am proud to say i have been a part in the success of my employer which i brought one award for them during my time. i want to continue but i most wanted to be "the long time me" who can think the most creative proposals and innovations, who can make the perfect costings, who can do better implementations and someone to look up to.
CHARING!!!! drama bah!? inta gid!
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Cinemalaya invades Robinson’s Cinema 3 with award winning short films that started last September 28. I received a forwarded text message inviting to watch these films especially that “Kultado” will also be screened.
“Kultado” is directed with one of the home grown-talented Lawrence Fajardo. Also casting some local talents like Bull Dilag, John Rick, visual artist Dennis Ascalon, John Arceo, my mum-Dolly and a lot more. This was shoot last year in Bacolod City North public Market or knowned as the Burgos Market.
But this was not the film Im interested to watched for, but this was the last film my mom did before she passed away. She was not actually the star nor the kontrabida here. Her part was not as the same as the lead stars whom from the start till the end was just blagging their scripts and does their “makabag-damdaming arte”. I just wanted to see her in big screen…again.
There were six short films to be screened, but I was more longing to see Kultado. I know for a fact that it was a great film. Honestly. (I don’t know why Filipinos like to watch those teeny beeny love stories instead of watching indie films with such great production and cinematography.) When I see mom in her part, I suddenly felt something’s wrong. “Why am I here?”, What came in to my mind to see this?”, “Shit! I could cry while others reacted different from what we saw!”
But my tears suddenly fall. All the while I thought I already accepted the loss I had. I missed mom so much that I regretted that I was there watching her doing her passion-to act.
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